Tips for
Online Dating Safety from the Romance Experts at Alternative
Connections!
10 Tips for
Online Dating Safety
We offer a fun
and secure environment for meeting and relating with others
online. It’s also a great place to build loving and trusting
friendships that can lead to long lasting real life
relationships. Whether you decide to correspond with members
online or meet members offline, please use sound judgment and
be responsible for your conduct online and off. In both the
virtual and real worlds, common sense is your best safety
tool.
"Common
sense is your best safety tool..."
Start Slow. Watch out for
someone who seems too good to be true. Begin by first
communicating solely via email. Be on the lookout for odd
behavior or inconsistencies. “Listen” to your
correspondent’s words. The person at the other end may
not be who or what he/she says. Trust your instincts. If
anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away for your own
safety and protection.
Guard Your Anonymity. All
correspondence with personals members should be done via
internal mail or via your own email program using your
anonymous username which does not reveal any personal
contact information about you. Never include your last
name, real email address, personal Web site URL, home
address, phone number, place of work, or any other
identifying information in your profile or in the initial
emails you exchange with other members. Make sure your
email signature file is turned off, or does not include
identifying information, when corresponding with an
advertiser via your own email. Stop communicating with
anyone who pressures you for this information or attempts
in any way to trick you into revealing it. Take all the
time you need to become comfortable with someone before
revealing any person contact information. Ask questions
and make sure you are satisfied with the answers. Trust
your instincts, move cautiously and be selective.
Exercise Caution and Common
Sense. Careful, well-thought decisions generally lead
to better results in dating, and this is certainly true
with online dating too. Guard against trusting the
untrustworthy. Any suitor must earn your trust gradually,
through consistently honorable, forthright behavior. Your
job is to take all the time you need to test for a
trustworthy person, and pay careful attention along the
way. Take a relatively conservative approach to trusting
anyone you meet online. If you think someone is lying, it
is likely that they are, so act accordingly. Move on to
someone you can eventually trust. Conduct yourself and
your romances in a responsible manner. Don’t fall in
love at the click of a mouse. Don’t become prematurely
intimate with someone, even if that intimacy only occurs
online.
Request a Photo. A photo
will give you a good idea of the person's appearance,
which may prove helpful in achieving a gut feeling about
your correspondent. In fact, it’s best to view several
images of this person in a variety of settings: casual,
formal, indoor, outdoors. If he or she continuously comes
up with an excuse, it may be because that person has
something to hide.
Talk Via Telephone. A phone
call can reveal much about a person’s communication and
social skills. It is worth the cost of the call to protect
your security. But do not give out your personal phone
number to a stranger. Try a cell phone number instead for
added security. Or make arrangements to call from a pay
phone. Only when you feel completely comfortable should
you furnish your phone number.
Meet When YOU Are Ready.
The beauty of meeting and relating online is that you can
gradually collect information and then make a choice about
pursuing the relationship in the real world. You are never
obligated to meet anyone, regardless of your level of
online intimacy. And even if you do decide to arrange a
meeting, you always have the right to change your mind.
It’s possible that your decision to keep the
relationship at the anonymous level is based on a hunch
that you can’t logically explain. Trust yourself. Go
with your gut instincts, even when they can’t be
logically explained. Never meet someone who argues against
your instincts, finds logical flaws with your feelings or
pressures you in any way.
Watch for Red Flags. Pay
attention to any displays of anger, intense frustration or
attempts at pressuring or controlling you. Acting in a
passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or
disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate
behavior are all red flags. You should also be concerned
if your date exhibits any of the following conduct without
providing an acceptable explanation:
Provides inconsistent
information about age, interests, appearance, marital
status, profession, employment, etc.
Refuses to speak to you on the
phone after establishing ongoing, online intimacy.
Fails to provide direct
answers to direct questions.
Appears in person to be
significantly different from his or her online
persona.
Never introduces you to
friends, professional associates or family members.
Select the Safest Possible
Environment. When you make the choice to meet offline,
always tell someone where you are going and when you will
return. Leave your date’s name and telephone number with
that person. Never arrange for your date to pick you up at
home. Provide your own transportation, meet in a public
place at a time when many people are present, and when the
date is over, leave on your own as well. A familiar
restaurant or coffee shop, at a time when a lot of other
people will be present is often a fine choice. Avoid
hikes, bike rides or drives in remote areas for the first
few dates. If you decide to move to another location, take
your own car. When the timing is appropriate, thank your
date for getting together and say goodbye.
Take Extra Caution Outside Your
Area. If you are flying in from another area, arrange
for your own car and a hotel room. Do not disclose the
name of your hotel and never allow your date to make the
arrangements for you. Rent a car at the airport and drive
directly to your hotel. Call your date from the hotel or
meet at the location you have already agreed to. If the
location seems inappropriate or unsafe, go back to your
hotel. Try to contact your date at that location, or leave
a message on a home machine. Always make sure a friend or
family member knows your plans and has your contact
information. And if possible, carry a cell phone at all
times.
Get Yourself Out of a Jam.
Never do anything you feel unsure about. If you are in any
way afraid of your date, use your best judgment to diffuse
the situation and get out of there. Excuse yourself long
enough to call a friend for advice, ask someone else on
the scene for help, or slip out the back door and drive
away. If you feel you are in danger call the police.
It’s always better to be safe than sorry. Never worry or
feel embarrassed about your behavior. Your safety is much
more important than one person’s opinion of you.
While liars, cheaters and imposters certainly ply their craft
on the Web, you’ll also find them in nightclubs, among the
membership ranks of off-line dating services, at cocktail
parties, and occasionally sitting across from you at your
local café. Regardless of where, or how, you meet someone,
dating is never a risk-free activity. A little caution will
reduce your risk in these matters of the heart.
"Gay and lesbian
dating safety is a must. Use these ten tips for online dating
safety. Remember... common sense is your best safety tool. Play
it safe and have fun with your romantic encounters!"
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